Palm Beach County Family Law Blog

Family lawyers know that acrimonious divorces are ugly.  Feelings are hurt and emotional pain can persist.  Divorce lawyers also recognize that participants in less contested divorces often can feel the same.  Once the dissolution of marriage case is over, couples are often plagued with feelings of loss and face the daunting task of transitioning into a new life.  While they were involved in the divorce process, each spouse had his or her attorney and support system to guide them through the legal storms of the court system.  Once the divorce is over that guidance is no longer there.  One of the issues in any post-divorce transition is how do we each interact with the friends that we had as a couple during the marriage.  During the divorce process, most friends of a couple will attempt to maintain a neutral position and not choose sides.  Consequently, they also will be at a loss of how to reconnect with the divorced couple.  Attempting to reconnect can be an emotional mine field.  Recently, the

Yuma Sun provided a guide for a divorced couple and their friends as to how to reestablish their relationships.  The article is full of practical advice and should be reviewed carefully by all newly divorced couples.  To learn more about bridging this particular gap, the please click here.

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There is much speculation and commentary going on about the recently filed divorce between Alex Rodriguez and his wife, Cynthia.  The following are some frequently asked questions and responses to some of the central issues in the case: 

Question 1: Why are the parties getting divorced in Florida instead of New York state?  

The parties maintain residences in both New York state and Florida.  Consequently, they may have been able to file in either jurisdiction.  Cynthia Rodriguez may have chosen Florida to file her divorce petition because of the parties postnuptial agreement.   In New York state, it is much more difficult to challenge and vacate a postnuptial or ante-nuptial agreement than it is in Florida.  Although challenging an ante-nuptial agreement in Florida is no “walk in the park”, it is certainly easier then doing so in New York state. 

Question 2: If Florida is a no-fault divorce state, then why is Cynthia Rodriguez talking about all the shortcomings and alleged bad actions/faults of her husband?

In every divorce case, there is a battle of imagery.  In the battle of imagery, one side is trying to paint themselves out as a victim of the bad actions of the other spouse.  In her divorce petition, Cynthia Rodriguez has stated clearly that the divorce is caused by the emotional abandonment of her and her children by Alex Rodriguez.  She also has clearly stated that the marriage has been irrevocably broken because of the husband’s extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct.  Although Florida is a no-fault divorce state, the issues of emotional and physical abandonment of the family would be relevant evidence in terms of custody and visitation issues.  In addition, in Florida if an affair diminished the assets of the marital estate or income of the parties during the marriage, then the evidence of adultery can be entered into evidence in order to recover dissipated assets or income.  On a more subtle basis, Cynthia Rodriguez is attempting to win the heart and mind of the judge who will be in charge of her case.  Judges consciously attempt to remain neutral.  However, judges are no different then any other human being in terms of subconscious influences.   

Question 3:  What is the likelihood that Cynthia Rodriguez will obtain alimony from her husband? 

Under Florida law, this is a short-term marriage with a presumption that she should not receive long-term alimony.  However, she is on the cusp of becoming a gray-area marriage where she may quality for permanent alimony payments.  Her divorce petition makes it clear that Alex Rodriguez provided her and their children with an extremely lavish lifestyle.  The ante-nuptial agreement also may limit the ability of Cynthia Rodriguez to obtain alimony.  Nevertheless, she has indicated clearly that A-Rod has provided a lavish lifestyle for her children.  Consequently, she may attempt to obtain a very generous award of child support in order to continue to fund indirectly some portion of her former lifestyle.

Question 4:   What impact will the ante-nuptial agreement have on the divorce? 

Currently, the public does not know the terms of the ante-nuptial agreement.  This ante-nuptial agreement was signed subsequent to the marriage between Alexander and Cynthia Rodriguez.  Generally, these agreements do not come into existence unless there is some restriction on alimony and/or division of the marital assets of the marital estate in the event that there is a divorce.  Presumably, the legal team for Cynthia Rodriguez (consisting of two attorneys from Texas and two attorneys from Florida) will be carefully analyzing the ante-nuptial agreement to establish if there is any way that they can attack and vacate it.  If they believe that they can do so, then they will move to strike down or vacate the ante-nuptial agreement.  If they’re unsuccessful in the attempt, then the ante-nuptial agreement may, in fact, limit if not eliminate, Cynthia Rodriguez’s claims for permanent alimony and equal distribution of the marital estate.

Question 5:   What can we expect to happen next?  The next major battle between the parties will be the establishment of temporary alimony for the wife and child support for the children.  Even if Cynthia Rodriguez signed a valid ante-nuptial agreement, the court still has the authority to provide her with temporary alimony while the divorce is pending.  The wife’s attorneys will be attempting to gain as generous an award as possible as a form of temporary relief.  The next battle may be the wife’s attack upon the ante-nuptial agreement. 

Question 6: Why is Cynthia Rodriguez airing the couple’s problems in the press? 

All individuals in a divorce case feel hurt and are upset.  If the allegations against her husband are true, then Cynthia Rodriguez has a legitimate claim to be emotionally hurt and distraught.  Celebrities have a tendency to want to wage their private battles in public and divorce is no exception to this rule.  Cynthia Rodriguez is attempting to have herself painted as the justly aggrieved wife and the victim of her husband’s emotional and physical abandonment and philandering.  What impact this campaign will have on the judge is unknown.  It is not supposed to have any impact.   But again, judges are human beings like all other individuals and can be subject to subconscious influences.

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Therapists and most family law attorneys will tell you that family traditions are important for intact families and divorced families. They represent interactions that help bind families together and create great memories. Elizabeth Gaskell of The Happiness Project has a great idea for traveling parents or families. If vacationing with the children, the parent or parents can secretly purchase a gift for the child or children at the beginning of the trip. The children have one question each day to attempt to guess the identity of the gift. A parent, who is traveling on business, can use the same strategy with his or her children at home. Divorce lawyers and divorcing parents are constantly seeking out new ways to connect and stay connected with their children. This tradition meets this need and at the same time it accesses the four stages of appreciating a happy moment. To learn more about this new tradition and to learn more about the four stages of anticipating a happy moment, then visit Ms. Gaskell's article by clicking here .

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In past years a couple would get a divorce, divide the property, and go on their way.  In a booming economy, the marital home was easily sold or one party would buy out the other party.  Now during the real estate “bust”,

Florida divorce attorneys and family law attorneys around the country are facing a different scenario.  Real estate is still difficult to sell for everyone, including divorcing couples.  Not every divorced couple has the financial ability for one spouse to buy out the other spouse’s interest.  Consequently, the options remain few.  The spouses could continue to live together (divorced or not divorced), which is not a very viable option.  Alternatively, one spouse stays in the marital residence and the couple continues to struggle financially to support the upkeep of the house while making attempts in a faltering real estate market to sell the marital residence.  To paraphrase a Frankie Valli song, “Breaking up is getting harder to do”.  To view an article that provides a greater analysis and more options for divorcing parties, please visit our blog by clicking here

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 Ah, its summertime.  It is a time when parents, divorced or not, are busy sending their children off to camp and to various summer programs at Universities and elsewhere.  However, many parents also take vacations (long and short) while their children are away from home or while their children are still there (being cared for by other family members or staying with neighbors).  Unfortunately, many of these parents are not preparing properly for the care of their children while the parents are vacationing.  If your children are going to be at home or in the vicinity of home, while you, their parents, are away, then parents should have a signed medical care authority provided to the child care provider so that the child can receive needed medical treatment of injury or illness.  In addition, parents should also provide a detailed list of their children's medical history and medications and conditions that the child has.  Attorney Laura Hill of Massachusetts has good advice for parental planning for your children under and over the age of 18 while you are away on vacation.  To view more of her advice, please click here. 

Divorce lawyers and family law attorneys in
Florida and elsewhere may not provide such advice to their clients, unless specifically asked to do so.  Be an active consumer of legal advice and don't be afraid to ask.  In any event, enjoy your summer break and remember a little pre-planning can provide a greater sense of ease when you are separated from your children for the summer.

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"One father is worth more than a hundred schoolmasters" - - English  Proverbs 

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was" — Anne Sexton 

Sunday is Father's Day.   Contrary to rumors, it was not commenced to be a counter weight to Mother's Day and it was not commenced by greeting card companies to earn extra profit during the year.  Sonora Dodd, of Washington state, is credited with the beginning of the day each year during which we honor our fathers.  Her father was widowed and he single handedly raised five children on a farm in eastern Washington state.  As she grew older, Sonora came to understand the remarkable job her father had done for her and her siblings. 
Sonora's father was born in June.  To honor him, she promoted the celebration of the first  Father's  Day, which was held in Spokane, Washington on June 19, 1910. The idea of celebrating a day to honor fathers spread quickly throughout the country.  In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day.  President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation in 1966, declaring the third Sunday of June as Father's Day.  A national law was passed in 1972 that made the date of celebration permanent.  No one disputes that fathers play an important role in their children's lives.  To learn more about the benefits, please click here.  So let us honor our fathers this Sunday.   

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People face many consequences from a divorce. Their family units are broken up, their lives are in an uproar, their lifestyle has been negatively affected, and they are concerned about the long term impact of the divorce on their lives and how it will impact on others. They also carry varying levels of guilt for what is happening. Well, they now can add another concern to the heavy load that they are carrying. Research now indicates that divorces have a negative impact upon the environment. A recent study from Michigan State University (MSU) surveyed divorces in the United States, and 11 additional countries. The study found that family splits lead to significant surges in construction, transportation, and other results, which have a significant impact on the local ecology. Divorce attorneys know that a divorce generally will lead to a decrease in life style for both adults. However, family lawyers have not predicted the findings of the study from MSU. Nevertheless, the results of the study do make sense. The movement of families from one residence to two increases the energy expenditures to support that family. It costs twice as much for groceries, fuel for vehicles, energy to heat and cool residences. The split households have fewer people in them and yet they use the same amounts of energy. We recently observed Earth Day and Arbor Day in this country. As a result, many people are inspired to think and act in a more ecological responsible fashion. It is apparent that the general consciousness of our need to act to save the environment has increased. Yet, I am not aware of any couples in a disintegrating relationship who have decided not to obtain a divorce because of its negative impact on the environment. It is an observation that is likely to be shared by family law attorneys. This negative impact on the environment also does not seem to have caused any lessening the rate of divorce in the industrialized countries, contained in the MSU study. Whether it will do so in the future remains to be seen. To review the study, please click here.

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Divorces, whether they are civil or highly contested, often involve emotional pain, anguish, and anxiety for the participant.  Divorces are never pleasant.  Whether you live in
West Palm Beach, Florida or elsewhere, few people will claim that their experiences in a divorce have been pleasant.  Consequently, the last thing anyone would likely think about after they have completed a divorce is throwing a party.  Nevertheless, a whole industry regarding the celebration of one’s divorce is developing in this country.  

The reasons for this evolving social trend could be many.  No standard activity or rite of passage previously existed to commemorate one’s passage from a married state to a single state.  We have unpleasant events that happen in our lives such as funerals, which have rites to celebrate the individual who has passed away, commiserate with their family, and wish them well in the future.  A divorce party, at its best, embraces all these elements.  Divorce parties have quickly sprung up around the country.  An inquiry on the Internet will quickly locate books on divorce parties, divorce party planners, music play lists, and hotels in
Las Vegas and other metro areas that cater to divorce parties.  Even a play has been written about this social phenomena:  “The Divorce Party” by Laura Day.  All this activity around divorce parties would not be occurring unless it was meeting a need.   

Southeast Florida is the home of the proclaimed “largest divorce party in the nation”.  It will be taking place on Friday, May 30, 2008 at Christopher’s Nightclub in
Fort Lauderdale starting at 9:00 p.m.  During the evening, participants will be dancing, playing games, entering contests, winning prizes, meeting new friends, and enjoying life after divorce.  To learn more about this divorce party, please visit www.secretsofdivorce.com/divorceparty.html.  It is sponsored by Divorce Magazine and Divorce360 and hosted by Rosalind Sedacca.  If you can’t attend this event, then you may wish to learn more about divorce parties in general by clicking here .

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 Life continues after divorce. After an appropriate time for healing and centering, divorced parents recommence their social lives and begin dating. Many divorced parents eventually will enter into a steady relationship. Teenagers have definite opinions about most issues in their lives. Not surprisingly, they also have specific opinions for people dating their divorced parents. These rules are sometimes contradictory (just like teenagers may be). Nevertheless, they clearly indicate the desire to keep their divorced parents as the primary role models and parental figures in their lives. Some of the rules are: (1) Don't kiss and do stuff in front of me - anything beyond a quick pack on the cheek is not appreciated and should be done in private; and (2) Give me space. Make an effort to interact and establish a relationship, let the teenager determine how far it should go. Divorce attorneys in Palm Beach County, Florida and family law attorneys around the country would agree readily with such statements. Of course, some of the rules contain classic teenager language, such as: "Don't be a goober". To learn what "being a goober" means and to learn more about the other rules teenagers have for their divorced parents who are dating, please click here

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On May 15, 2008 in a 4 to 3 ruling, the California Supreme Court ruled that gay couples can marry. The Republican dominated high court struck down state laws against same‑sex marriages.
This is a potentially monumental decision because of California’s size (38 million out of a total population in the United States of 302 million). In addition, historically, California has been in the vanguard of many social and cultural changes that have eventually swept the country. Massachusetts is the only other state to legalize gay marriages. However, unlike Massachusetts, California has no residency requirement for obtaining a marriage . Consequently, many gay couples are likely to travel to California to wed.
The ultimate short-term and long-term impact of this decision is unknown. Conservative opponents are pledged to seek a review by the California Supreme Court of its decision. Failing that, conservatives have stated they will mount their own constitutional amendment drive to overturn the decision.
Family law attorneys understand that the California decision will have little immediate impact in Florida. Unfortunately, Florida State law does not recognize or permit same‑sex marriages. Divorce attorneys in other states also will be of similar opinions. Nevertheless, it will be interesting to see how this decision will impact national and local elections . The California decision will certainly place the gay marriage issue in the limelight. To read the decision, please click here. To read more about the decision, please see the following article

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